Our birth story of
our first child, Evelyn Claire McShea is one that will always be so special to
me, and I am writing this story out in detail for myself mostly- so I can always
remember vividly how it all happened. Some
people don’t really care how they give birth, as long as “mom and baby are
healthy,” and of course that was goal number one…but doing this as naturally as
possible seemed like the best way for us both.
However, it was a long way to actually believing in my body and myself
that I could do this.
My
Path to being Informed and Prepared for Birth:
My preparations
for birth started around day 5 of finding out I was pregnant. I remember thinking back then how the
scariest part to me about it all was the birth itself- I was pretty confident that
I could handle a newborn(now I am not so sure some nights). I have 3 older sisters and a wonderful sister in law, 3 of which are
mothers of multiple children themselves. I took a ton of advice from them, and books
and also a facebook birth community in town
became my constant go-to for evidence based answers and other people’s
opinions. It was a gradual process that
I decided if at all possible, I would like to avoid all drugs- no IV, no
inductions using Pitocin, no Epidural- just me, my husband, and my wonderful
Doula(labor coach) Heidi. Even my
sisters seemed wary of me putting such high hopes on a natural birth as a first
timer, and I understood that there were odds against me since I didn’t know
this type of pain.
My first decision
to deliver at Vanderbilt with the Midwives there at a hospital 45 minutes away
from my home also made people nervous for me, but I really felt strongly that
this practice was crucial in having a great birth experience. Next, I decided to hire my Doula Heidi, who
also teaches private child birth classes in your home that are a Christ
centered birth preparation classes called Alpha- it taught me all the
scientific stuff in the perspective of how God is behind all of this amazing
process. Tom and I learned everything we
needed from that class! It included an
entire workbook, a cd of relaxation tunes and verses, and a book called “The
Lord’s Birth,” that really shed light on how amazing God created us and intended
our bodies to work. It was great to see
science and faith working together, rather than against each other. A couple verses I took away from the class
and repeated in my head often during my pregnancy and birth were:
Phillipeans 1:6
“For he who began
a good work in you will bring it to completion…”
2 Corinthians 12:9
"My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
My
Unexpected Beginnings of a Great Birth
So here I was at
35 weeks, riding the waves of Jacksonville beach at a wedding thinking… “We really have a lot to do to prepare for
this baby coming next month”… so when my husband and I returned home and had
the next weekend to ourselves…we decided to spend our Friday night at Starbucks
making a long checklist over coffee about what needed to get done. Yep, that is how we spent our last Friday
night as a childless couple ;) So Saturday
morning we went at that list bright and early…and what did I decide to tackle? The linen closet of all things. I was determined to organize the hell out of
that closet for some reason…(nesting signal)
Then we fell asleep at 6 pm that night and got a ton of sleep
(foreshadowing what was to come the next evenings and really the rest of our
parenting years when we would have no sleep). That night of sleep was just pure awesomeness.
The last sign (and most important to me not freaking out) was when we randomly
decided to pack our hospital bags 2 hours before my water broke Sunday
afternoon. This was very crucial to me
not panicking when the big moment came as I had LOTS of comfort measures to
pack if I was determined to avoid pain meds.
So around 3 PM on June 3rd I was
sitting on the couch with Tom, and all of a sudden I LEAPED up and ran to the
bathroom telling myself that maybe I just peed myself since I heard incontinence
was an issue late in pregnancy…but when the clear fluid just kept coming, my
husband suggested that maybe my water was breaking. I of course scoffed with all my birth
knowledge, and said “yea that is only how it happens in the movies hun…” But I felt a sense of urgency, and so I
called my sister Erin first and asked what she thought…she nervously responded
“Yea that sounds like your water breaking better call your midwife.” So I quickly got a hold of Lauren Drees at
Vandy, and she calmly confirmed that it sounded like premature ruptured
membranes, and I was far enough along that they would want the baby to come
now. She then asked, “Do you know what
you are having” and I said my standard response, “No, we’re not finding out”
and she said “Well you will be finding out very soon…” I was both panicked and excited by this
thought and asked “ So let me just clarify…there is no way to go backwards from
here…we can’t like refill the bags of water?”
She laughed and said no, you are going to have a baby soon! Tom was hearing my end of this and heard a
shudder in my voice. I was fighting back tears when I told her we would try to be
to the hospital in the next hour.
At this point I was just wandering around
the house in a daze- I got in the shower like she suggested and I just kept
thinking this was not happening to me- everything had been so perfect and
normal in my pregnancy- it was not supposed to end this way. During my daze, Tom was somewhat calmly
gathering everything else we needed to pack- which he did a phenomenal job of
by the way. Everyone including my doula was thinking the dreaded words
C-Section, but of course they did not tell me that and just encouraged me to
stay calm and go with the flow.
The
“Induction” Phase- about 12 hours
We had a pretty
calm ride down to Vanderbilt; I was in no pain at this point. We were nervous
since we had never even stepped foot in the hospital. Lauren Drees was so comforting when I showed
up to Triage and she talked to me about what to expect now that I was preterm
with ruptured membranes. She even spared
me the painful exam to confirm it was amniotic fluid, she took one look and
knew. They also were a little concerned
(but not overly) that there appeared to me light meconium showing in the fluid
which can sometimes mean distress. I
really appreciated them not making a huge deal out of this like they sometimes
do because me and the baby had great vitals.
Lauren did check me to see where I was at
as far as dilation etc, and I basically had no signs of being in labor. I knew this meant drugs of some sort unfortunately,
so she explained that they would start slow and try an oral treatment of
Cytotec to help soften my cervix first.
I knew exactly what this was, but I still did not realize it was going
to bring on contractions for so long.
They then sent us over to our labor and delivery room to set up shop for
our lengthy time spent there. Then was
the first scary part for me, they would need to start an IV to administer
penicillin every 4 hours since I was one day shy of getting my Step B test
done. Since I didn’t have these test
results, they had to treat me as if I had the infection(even though we later
confirmed I did not have it). Also, they
put me in their newest water tub room and then informed me that I could not use
the tub for labor until 37 weeks- super bummer!
My IV did not go so well the first time, and the next nurse that came on
board had to redo it- and this was actually a huge advantage because she moved
it from the top of my wrist to the backside on my forearm. If it weren’t for this, laboring would have
been so much more painful since I was moving around and bearing down weight on
my hands a lot. My main nurse Susan- I
will never forget her- she was very old school looking (probably 50+ in age)
with cute squeaky nurse sneakers. She
ended up being a God send and was so supportive of my natural birth plan-
monitoring the baby in any position I came up with.
So the next phase of my labor was pretty uneventful
in my memory except for a few lovely highlights. Basically around 9 PM was when the Cytotec
contractions started, and they were pretty strong in my opinion- sometimes I
would have back to back ones, and most of the time they were 2 minutes apart. I told my Doula that I thought the best time
for her to come was when we were taking the next step after the cytotec wore
off. So I labored through the night with
mostly walking the halls and Tom helping me through each one. Then one of the hardest parts of the labor
happened- my new midwife came on to her rotation with me and informed me that
now they would need to insert what is called a Foley bulb into my closed cervix
to manually dilate it some. I knew what
this was from class, and I liked that it was “natural” as in not a drug…but
HOLY moly did it hurt. They basically
insert a tube and then pump it with a bulb of water, and then they tug on it
every hour or so until it naturally falls out.
I was shaking uncontrollably for about 20 minutes when they put that
thing into place and they almost thought they may have to remove it, but I
finally calmed myself and from then on I was forced to remain in the bed
because of the discomfort of it when walking.
I only got up to use the restroom.
I was so tired and hungry at this point, and I was just really looking
forward to the sun coming up and it being a new day.
June 4th was a beautiful
morning, and around 9am the Foley bulb finally came out. I was encouraged and thought- hey maybe I am
5 cm dilated or something…when the midwife checked me and said I was only 3cm,
I was crushed. I was communicating with
Heidi via texts now, and she suggested I try rubbing some of my Clary Sage
essential oil on my feet and abdomen (an oil known for inducing labor). So Tom did that for me, and I do believe it
was part of what kept my contractions going when the Cytotec wore off. I still never even let the term C-section
cross my mind though. Next, the most
painful memory I have of birth happened, and something I would have never
expected too! The tape they used to hold down the Foley tube on my leg had some
sort of extreme epoxy strength type glue, and when Heidi arrived- I was in the
bathroom crying in pain as Tom and the nurse were watching me basically rip a 3
inch patch of my inner thigh skin off to remove this darn tape! It was a constant pain the rest of my stay
there at Vandy- and my thighs were constantly sticking together from the
residual glue that would NOT come off.
Around 11am, my midwife came back in to
discuss the next steps since my labor had taken a break (which I was not
complaining about since I had just endured 12 hours of contractions by
now). Since my water had broken already,
the need for speed was a bit more pressing.
She suggested Pitocin of course, but she could see I was clearly not
excited by that idea. My main reasoning
was that the contractions would be much stronger than natural ones, and with
Evelyn being preemie she may not handle the medicine or the Epidural that
usually follows receiving Pitocin. So my
midwife gave me one more option to try first and left it up to me to
decide. She suggested their “labor
cocktail” which consisted of 4 tbs Castor Oil, 8 oz Champagne, 4 tbs Almond
Butter. Although I was discouraged and
starting to want to give up and just move on with the drugs, my doula and Tom
felt otherwise and convinced me to try the cocktail. Thank God for their encouragement.
Active
Labor Begins!
So Tom went out to gather the supplies (which proved quite a challenge) and meanwhile my doula kept up the Clary Sage oil. I also got time here to breath and take a shower and just get refocused. Tom came back around 12 and popped open the bubbly… this was an interesting way to enjoy my first drink in a while..it was quite disgusting but I downed it. Now I know some people are really against this intervention because sometimes it can cause some unpleasant side effects..but luckily for me it only caused some mild vomiting. All I know is it WORKED! Before I knew it, by about 2:30 pm I was having regular contractions that were increasing in strength. My midwife was so happy, and so were we.
I was in active labor at this point, and
the thought crossed my mind only a couple times… “maybe I should get the
nitrous oxide or something to make it easier,”
but I really was just so in the zone … “laborland” as some books call
it, that I was really too out of it to stop and ask.
From 3pm-5pm I was moving around as much as
possible…don’t think I sat down once. I
mostly leaned over on my tempurpedic pillow I brought and swayed back and forth
as Heidi and Tom took turns rubbing my back and handing me cold wet
towels.
At 5:30 when my midwife came to check on
me, she asked if I wanted to be checked.
I was so nervous that I hadn’t made real progress, but I also felt sure
that I could feel something happening- so she went ahead and checked me. I was 7 cm and 90% effaced at +1
station! Such a huge progression!
Transition
Phase/ pushing
This was when Tom recalls seeing a huge
change in my attitude- even though I was coming into the hardest stage of
labor. My midwife took one look at me
going through some intense contractions and said “she’s in transition”…and left
me alone for another hour or so to get ready for the big event! I kept looking at the clock and just finding
myself mentally trying to pass the time.
I was so encouraged that I would be finding out boy or girl in just a
matter of hours. I also was feeling
extremely empowered that I knew I would be having this baby without pain meds
like I had wanted.
The
last hour was pretty intense, and Heidi really helped here to tell me specific
positions that were going to get the baby in the optimal position because I
still wasn’t ready to push. Soon after,
I started feeling that urge to push, and there was no controlling it. I kneeled on my hands and knees on the bed
for a while during this first stage of pushing.
Once the midwife came back in, she asked if I was ready to push this
baby out. Of course I said…yes! It really was so surreal from here on
out…seeing the nurse turn on the little baby warmer bed and thinking about how
much my baby would weight, what she would look like. I really never had any doubts about her being
healthy. From 9:15 until 10:05 I was
actively pushing and then practically sleeping in between. I was always most scared of this part of
labor, but it really was not bad and I felt like the worst was over at this
point- which was the marathon contractions.
I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and every painful feeling
I felt just meant I was that much closer to it all ending and holding my baby.
Tom watched the whole process, and I could
really sense he was just amazed to be witnessing such an act of strength and
this miracle unfolding in front of him.
He later told me he only got choked up during this one point when
he heard me say quietly to him “I can do this, I feel so strong.” I don’t even
remember that, but he said he saw me in a new light after this. I remember asking with each push- “do you
think it will be this push that does it??.”
At 10:05 pm, she finally emerged and I heard those blessed words I had
been waiting for… “Kelley, Reach down and grab your baby.” All
the pain instantly went away like they say, and then Tom announced, “It’s a
GIRL, it’s a girl!” We both were just so happy and in awe that I don’t think we
even could cry- it was just really joyful and happy. It really did feel like I just won first
place in a double marathon event with the best prize ever afterwards.
Evelyn Claire, you don't quite know how much you are loved by mommy, daddy and so many others!
Here are some pictures from the journey and her first two months in this world.
.JPG)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
